A Heart Searching

"The disciples began looking at one another, at a loss to know of which one He was speaking."

       Can you imagine the horrible feelings they would have had as in shock they heard the words, "Truly, truly, I say to you, that one of you will betray Me."   The pang that would have gone through their hearts! The bewilderment they would have felt!  They had spent so long with their Beloved Master and had left everything dear to follow after Him... everything known to follow Him into the unknown. They had grown to love Him more than anyone in the world.    To those who loved their Master, it would have been the most painful, piercing word, and each one would have desperately searched to the innermost of their hearts to see where such deception lay. Each wondered in alarm if it was them...  yet how could it? For they loved Him dearly! 
Now, Jesus knew what was in the heart of men... and He knew fully well the honest love His dear friends had for Him. He knew that in their hearts was no desire to do evil against Him. He knew there was only one in their midst who had evil intent toward Him. Yet He made the statement in front of everyone and for what reason? Why did they all have to be thrust into such a painful state of heart and mind? 
      It produced the effect of an intense feeling in their hearts to bring about a soul-searching... and in that moment I am sure... that never had they felt such a deep love for Jesus. So in the moment when Judas determined that he truly did not love God and did not want any part of Him... the other disciples were realizing that there was none other they would rather serve with their lives. 

    Even though these disciples did stumble and fall for a time, each came back with humble and repentant hearts to God because there was no other course they would rather pursue... no other person they'd rather serve. They had realized that Jesus was indeed the Son of the Living God and they loved Him more than life itself.

   Have we been tested in this way yet? Has a question been posed in our hearts that would make us search to the depths whether or not we truly love our Lord?

God bless you all!
In Christ, Miriam

Sowing with a view to Righteousness

We're officially driving Eastward! This is the third day of our East bound treck and the last leg of the trip for now. We just drove from Northern Saskatchewan into the States to the border of N. Dakota/ Minn. then to Toledo, OH and now to CT.. just in time for U.S. Thanksgiving with some our our family!!
God has given us such clear, beautiful days... :)

I just wanted to share a part of my journal entry from this morning about a verse I was reading. 
I was reading my Bible in Hosea 10 and this really stood out: 
"Sow with a view to righteousness. Reap in accordance with kindness..."
Keep in mind that what you sow to your heart or in your actions will affect your future. Sow things that will result in righteousness. This is all of the little things that we do every day, and will be affected by our choices every time. Practical app: When I'm settling in for a long day of travel, my automatic tendency is to go into "drive mode" *ie. airplane mode: on. No signal.* :]  and I let myself drift into a mindset where I'm not held accountable to keep on the alert spiritually. I feel like I don't have to be quite so "on duty". 'Course, so much of the time our driving days are more intense than any other time. So I need to purposefully fill my mind with edifying things and not slip into that dull mode. 
"Reap in accordance with kindness"
What we reap will show if we've actually been sowing righteousness. It will show if we've actually been making the choices in those little things to sow to a future of righteousness. If we've been sowing what is true and honorable and right, pure, lovely, of good reputation, excellent and worthy of praise. If we've sowed selflessly or with the wrong motives, it will be revealed. We will see if what was sown was with the right motives.